Warlord Kept A Human Dog

Afghan bandit turned kebab seller, Faryadi Zardad, (41), faces charges of kidnap and torture - crimes allegedly committed in Afghanistan during the 1990s. An Old Bailey court in London, heard this week, how Zardad created a fearsome reputation for cruel and merciless banditry before coming to London as a refugee. Prosecutors told how people passing through the checkpoints he controlled, were terrorised by unbridled violence into handing over goods and money. His men robbed, beat, wounded and held for ransom a great many civilians.

More bizarre than his penchant for robbery, was his grotesque sense of humour – the court heard how he kept a human dog chained in a hole, a deranged man, who was occasionally turned loose inside a tent, to bite and terrify people for Zardad's amusement.

If I’d known about that, I’d have put him in touch with some of my ex-colleagues. Some of those rabid bitches would have been a lot more frightening, if perhaps a little more expensive to keep.