Royal Navy Technician Chris Cranmer, was allowed to register as a ‘Satanist’ in Navy records at Devonport Naval Base in Plymouth last month, and now, in line with the navy’s rules on respecting religious diversity, crazy Chris will be allowed facilities on HMS Cumberland to carry out his Satanic practices.
Wacky Catholic MP Anne Widdecome, said she was, ‘utterly shocked’ at the Navy’s recognition of Cranmer’s horrid beliefs. She added: ‘The Navy should not permit Satanist practices on board its ships.’ The Satanic code that Chris subscribes to, advocates indulgence, vengeance and rigorous pursuit of sin, since such shenanigans, it is claimed, lead to physical, mental and emotional gratification.
Now some of you may well agree with busty Anne (68), that too much shipboard gratification might be bad for discipline - but thinking about it, I’m not so sure. If there’s anything at all in Cranmer’s pal Beelzebub, maybe the tax payer could save a ton of cash that would otherwise go up in smoke, and just let Chris poke needles into wax models of the enemy instead. We may have to provide him with a few goats, virgins, and the odd cockerel, but if it works, why not? In fact, considering that a newly acquired Canadian sub spontaneously combusted a couple of weeks ago, maybe some attention should be paid to what Chris has been up to in his seaboard chapel. Improve his targeting a bit, and this might be the weapons discovery of the century!
SOURCE:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/3948329.stm
3 comments:
I like what you have to say. Though not a satanic individual myself I see the practicallity of using what you have. Good thoughts.
I hope that's a joke Erin.. :)
Just be glad he is at sea, and not hanging around your allottment stealing your hens.
Q
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